Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Crushing

*WARNING (mom): This post is a little more scandalous than others. Proceed with caution*

This week I've felt like a young 18 year old again, walking on cloud nine (or maybe my head has been more on cloud nine than usual, who knows), picking virtual daisies and singing (to myself, rest assured) show tunes as I stroll down the street.

Why? Well. It's been a long time since DLS had a "crush". Noo, I don't mean the "crush" that sometimes develops on the cute coffee guy (I swear he gives me extra shots every time I go in!) or like the one some people get on the UPS dude, or the person across the street you see every day when you're not wearing your glasses but he appears to be of the male persuasion so hell, let's have a crush on him too, just for good measure.

No, this is the kind when you meet someone and it's like an instantaneous connection. You become wittier, hotter, classier, and the most interesting person in the room immediately. I've had versions of those over the last year--but they've all kind of stopped before starting for various reasons (and by all I mean, like, 2. Ok maybe one. But let's say 2). But this past Thursday it happened again. And alas, there is, of course, a story. So let me paint the picture.

There was an event at the Good Senator's office to say good-bye to the Good Press Secretary for his committee. I always love going to these events as I get to catch up with folks who I rarely see and pretend I'm reliving my old days roaming the halls of Dirksen and Russell and Hart. It's great. My wing-gal LP had shown up, and we were making our rounds from the bar to the cheese plate back to the bar (you get the idea) interrupted only to say hello to people (including the Good Senator--on a side note--I did not realize just how busty my new cute shirt was until he casually glanced down. Whoops). Finally, our friend JB arrived. JB still works for the Good Senator and has a very important job, so it's normal that LP and I arrive first, but we hate that, because we like to travel in JB's pack since she knows way more people than we do (and it's guaranteed to be way more fun that way. In honesty, we try to sequester JB to a corner near the bar with us so the three of us can just stand around and catch up and drink cocktails, but that only works for about 13 minutes, tops, generally). Anyway. As LP and I strolled up to JB we noticed (ok, "we" means "I" since LP is recently and happily married) she was talking to a young man we had never met. We made small talk with JB until finally she introduced us.

*Cue Fireworks*

Cute Intelligence Committee Boy (CICB) and I immediate hit it off. It was like a ray of light had started shining on the two of us and we just chatted and laughed and I was super witty and hilarious. Now, here's the thing. I'm a dork. I own it, I live it (occassionaly) but it's hard to hide when my guard is down and I'm beginning to gush. CICB works behind, what JB refers to as, the frosty glass doors next door to where JB adn I used to share an office. It's very clandestine (In fact, I think I made that exact comment last week to CICB) and just adds to the sexiness of the person. I went into full flirt mode and I think it was going really well. Until I did the following:

CICB and DLS: lots of witty and fun conversation. DLS might have asked for a tour of the space behind the frosty glass doors. CICB might have said (verbatim) "I think that can be arranged" (but it sounded super hot when he said it). The DLS did the following (and should be shot for it):

DLS: OMG! Since you work in Intelligence, and you work behind the frosty glass doors where everything's clandestine, I have to ask: Do you play Risk? You must love risk! That's clandestine too!

Let's all just stop and pause at the statement above. WHO SAYS THAT? ME! I do. And the thing is, it didn't stop there.

CICB: Oh yeah, I like Risk.

DLS: You DO??? Ok, well, how about Castle Risk, I mean, come ON, that one is way better than regular Risk.

JB and LP: Oh holy Jesus. What is DLS doing.

CICB: You have Castle Risk? Wow, that is totally old School

DLS: Oh, I know (being as modest as usual)--I actually have the 1992 version off E-bay with Risk on one side and Castle Risk on the other. It's awesome!!!!

So you all get the picture. I am an idiot. As the party wound down in the committee room, we started making plans for the after party event (which staffers from the Good Senator's office are famous for). CICB had to go finish some stuff up, but said he'd meet us there. The minute he left I went mining for details. JB and the Good Press Secretary were the first to break the news: he has a girl friend.

I refused to believe it. How could there be SO much palpable chemistry if he has a girlfirend. I mean, throw me a freaking bone here! I convinced myself over the next hour it was all a lie. And then I met her. Frankly, she's not very nice. I'm way nicer. And funnier. And then the kicker happened. She latched onto me and decided, since we live in the same neighborhood, that we should be new BFFs and hang out together.

We exchanged numbers. The GF and I. Not CICB and I. But here's the problem: I don't want to hang out with HER. I want to hang out with CICB!!! I was advised it would be of poor moral character (Thanks EA!!) to hang out with her to get to him to break them up so I could marry him and live happily ever after (yes, that went through my mind. Breifly. Fine, I might burn in hell, but whatevs, I lived through hot season in the Sahara--it can't be worse than that).

So tonight is another Good Senator event. JB has been my diligent co-conspirator on the inside trying to ensure CICB would be there. I did my hair this morning and wore cute clothes. While I am hopeful that he arrives, sees me, and falls madly in love, I doubt that will happen.

So instead, I think I might invite him over for a game of World Domination (Risk) and see just who gets dominated in the end ;)

6 comments:

armo said...

DLS: Awesome post, as usual. I was intrigued by your urgent demand that I give you the link to my UPS post, but lo and behold, your post was much more interesting and entertaining than anything my sad little blog has to offer! Nice work.

Also, nice work on falling for an unavailable boy. At least you didn't know he was unavailable beforehand (possibly the biggest aphrodisiac known to man. Or, okay, me.). My advice is therefore that you should make your dating life seem SO exciting to this guy that he can't help but be jealous. And, I'm sure you've done this already, make yourself so clearly more fun and interesting than his current ho that he will one day realize he wants some full-time DLS!

Purposeful Wanderer said...

HA! Is that advice right out of the 2007 update of the Rules?? I think it is. Screw it, I might just give it a try!!!

When you coming back to DC, yo--the neighborhood misses you, but I'm keeping it company while you're away ;)

armo said...

Actually, I'll be there weekends Oct. 12 and 19th! I have some apartment-related stuff for you. Like the instructions to the washing machine. EXCITING.

GirlTuesday said...

first, i TOTALLY heart the romance post. it is a much better version of the post i’ve been struggling to write over the last few days about my own crush(es), only in my case there seem to be more than I can keep up with (the crushes are fleeting and insubstantial).

second, i found it hysterical that CICB actually knew enough about risk to call castle risk "old school." (and somewhere inside, as that comment came out of his mouth, i'd wager he, too was kicking himself for being a dork.)

third, what’s with boys not wanting to drop the GF-bomb, ever?? i’ve never understood that.

you rock, DLS.

Purposeful Wanderer said...

Ok, GT--on the girlfriend thing--NO SHIT! If there are males who read this blog and the comments: It's NOT cool to keep quiet about the GF. Seriously. takes away from said hotness. And yeah--he's totally a dork--he's nerdy cute! I love that! I fall for that! Shamelessly!

Armo--You're here next weekend? You better call me. Seriously. Are the cats coming? They can bunk in their old home. I can't wait for the washing machine instructions--probably more intersting to read than my corporations textbook.

GirlTuesday said...

i'm all about the nerdy boys, too, DLS. the smarter they are, the cuter they become in my mind. there's a distinct correlation. (and if they're nerdy-hipster boys? forget it.)