Collect Ephemera

I caught some flack from a few loyal readers (thanks mom) about the removal of what had been my most recent post. I am not going to repost it, because I didn't feel it fair to the person who was causing the sadness and pain that it described. As I said, I don't know who reads this thing, and having addressed the situation privately it just didn't seem...prudent.

But I stick by my stained glass assertion and the need to let light in to catch the most compelling reflections that make up the intracacies of individuals. So there you have it. Moving on.

This week's topic is going to stray a bit from the angst ridden posts of my life in a law firm to something far far more joyous--my darling and wonderful sister's upcoming wedding which is taking place in 8 days. Not surprisingly, this momentous event has caused me to contemplate a number of different emotions surrounding weddings. Both for the bride to be, as well as for those who are merely the spectators and revelers in such an occasion.

Being a witness (albeit a distant one down here in DC) to the preparation of marriage has definitely made me pause a little bit. Watching this gorgeous person who I have known my entire life go through the processes of marriage makes wonder where the past 28 years have gone. When did we grow up? How is this possible?

My AP English teacher in high school gave my class some great advice before we graduated. She told us wherever we went and whatever we did, to collect ephemera. It is in the passing moments, she explained, the ones the glimmer and fade quickly, that create the fullest patchwork of our memory and experience. This conversation and piece of advice has come up a few times in the last few days and J's marriage makes me wander back through the ephemeral moments that I've caught with her since high school. I was looking at photos the other night--one in our backyard the day J came home from camp for a day off with her gals, the two of us standing, arms around each other, while her friend took a photo from the ground. I remember the day clearly--it was a gorgeous Vermont summer day, I had been working at the pool, they all came down to swim whisked me back home before they had to take back off for camp.

Or a night more recently, after parents had gone off to bed and my sister and I sat bundled on the front porch on a very quiet winter's night drinking wine and talking about past sadnesses and regrets, while gaining a deeper respect for the similarities we share.

Or my freshman year, sitting in my college dorm room alone, crying my eyes out after finding out that my legs weren't well enough to put me back in the boat for our race against Cornell, that my whole family was going to attend, and that I would not be going to, and getting an email with a small stanza from The Boxer and the quiet words of encouragement and support.

Coming home from Mali and watching my sister bounce past security before I had made it out of the secured area to be the first to embrace me.

I could go on and on. But some of my favorite ephemeral moments will remain ours to share. The point being--looking at some of these moments I see the richness and grace that has been infused into my life through them. And I watch a woman prepare to get married and feel a deep sense of joy and respect, knowing that the moments with us will continue regardless of age or place or relationship status.

I am so very very proud of the steps that have led my sister to this marriage that is coming so quickly and the moments we have shared along the way.