Keepin' On

So. It's amazing what a little resolve can do for a gal. I have believed for some time that we posess and amazing ability to determine our trajectory. As mentioned before in other posts, there is something to be said about fate--it moves us forward in certain ways but is in no way an independant actor on the paths of our lives.

Today is the last day of July. And it was a good day. In the midst of all that is swirling around in the eye of my own personal hurricane, I am beginning to think that with my head down and eyes on course, the next month is going to be breathtaking.

I have 9 more days of work. My how far we've come this summer. I use the collective we--everyone who has stuck on through the most depressing posts ever, as well as the fellow summers who are feeling the weight that is this law firm bearing down on us. Nah, we're not through the hardest of it all, I don't think there really is a "hardest" in this kind of thing, but it's kind of like those last few weeks of winter. Tentatively looking outside each morning to make sure a NorEaster has not crept in, and beginning to see a little green bud of life poking through the snow. I do love drama, but I think anyone can get the idea.

August will be a great month. Will I get an offer from the firm? In ten days I'll know. Here is what I know right now, on July 31st, 2007: In the next 30 days I will move into a home with rooms of my own; I will road trip up to Vermont with two of my favorite Vermont turned DC gals and spend a weekend on Lake Champlain drinking wine, floating in the water, twirling in the sun, and blowing kisses to the stars; I will throw sticks to Phoebe the Dog in my backyard and grill veggies with my parents and listen to the crickets talk; I'll host a housewarming party/birthday party/revolution of life for myself and everyone I know; I will finally let go of all the rest; I will be happy.

None of the above are negotiable. They are givens and only a supreme act of fate can make me change my course. Sometimes being a little lost is kind of exciting. In the process of finding yourself you get the opportunity and excuse to open your eyes really wide and rediscover everything that has been obscured underneath that shroud.